From Friction to Fire

Finding clarity in your search for “what’s next?”

Author

Sara Kobilka
March 27, 2025

“What am I doing with my life?” It’s a fair question to ask, especially when you come to a crossroads in your career. In this newsletter, I share reflection question to help give you a sense of clarity and direction.

- Sara Kobilka, Renaissance Woman

I made someone cry at a conference earlier this month.

That morning, I had spoken on a panel called “Jill of All Trades or Master of One" at a Society of Women Engineers conference. (I don't mean to ruin the suspense, but I'm pretty certain my business name, Renaissance Woman Consulting, gives away which of the options I was representing).

Sara is in the middle of speaking. She is seated at a table with a blurred out table tent with a name on it in front of her and a disposable coffee cup. She’s wearing a lanyard from the conference a purple dress with mathematical symbols

After I spoke, numerous women came up to tell me that they appreciated my message that you (yes you, reader) do NOT need to find one path and stick to it your entire career. But they also shared a concern many of my career coaching clients have, which is how to decide what to do next when you’re ready for a change.

As part of my presentation, I shared a list of questions I have my clients work through before we get started including thinking about their top priorities and their values when it comes to their next job.

Afterwards, numerous women came up to tell me that they appreciated the message that you (yes you, reader) do NOT need to find one path and stick to it your entire career journey.

One woman asked if she could join me at lunchtime to talk about her “what’s next?” conundrum and shared a bit more about her background. She knew what her priorities were and the type of work that appealed to her, but she was struggling with what her core values were.

I used a strategy my own career coach, Jenni Gritters, has used with me. It’s simply asking why over and over.

What did she want to do next? Why did that appeal to her? Why was that important? Why did she care so much?

And when we dug deep to the original why—the why formed in childhood, based on experiences of injustice in the world—we found her core values that served as the bedrock of her worldview.

And that’s when the tears came. Tears of frustration about the unfairness of life and tears of relief upon gaining a deeper understanding of herself. Tears of determination to make things better for the next generation.

This afternoon while driving home from yet another doctor’s appointment, a phrase spoken during a podcast stood out to me. Michael Bervell, a digital accessibility entrepreneur said, “The only way you can build a fire is with friction.”

My clients want to reignite a fire in their lives when it comes to work. Some want to be passionate about their job. Others want to downgrade the role work plays in their life and upgrade other things they value such as family and self-care. But it takes deep reflection and honest recognition of patterns to find clarity in what to do next. There’s friction involved as you reevaluate priorities, honestly assess you current capacity and recognize the risk involved with whatever choice you make.

It’s not the kind of work I can do for my clients, just like I don’t write their resume or cover letter for them. But I’m there to ask the challenging questions, to challenge their assumptions and be the coach cheering for them as they run the race. And because of the work THEY do, they are empowered to strategically move forward with confidence and focus.

Reflection

Here are the questions I shared during my presentation. I hope they can help you think more deeply about your future.

In your next job or position…

  • What are your top priorities?

  • What skills do you want to use?

  • What do you specifically want to stay away from?

  •  What are your values when it comes to your job?

  • What is the risk for you staying in your current path? What is the risk for changing directions?

Take time to think through these questions and jot down some ideas. Talk to a trusted friend or family member. And if you’re like to have some one coach you through these questions and what comes next, I’m here to help.

Recruiting Fans and Cheerleaders

My next LinkedIn Sprint kicks off this Friday and runs all next week. It’s for freelance creatives and I’m encouraging participants to use #RenaissanceWomansSprint in their posts. Please join me in supporting the sprint team by engaging with their post. Simply search for #RenaissanceWomansSprint on LinkedIn and find the recent posts. And if you’d like to join a future Sprint team, check out my Sprint Schedule and see if there’s a community you’d like to join.

Schedule of upcoming LinkedIn Sprints. Job Seekers are May 30-June 6 and Sept 19-26, Freelance Creatives are March 28-April 4, the STEM Community is April 25-May 2 and Educators are Aug 15-22.

Resource Roundup

I’ve decided to mix things up in this section of my newsletter and share a variety of types of resources.

  • If you are a scientist who lost their job due to federal firings, budget curs or loss of grants, you can share your story through “Silenced Science Stories” on LinkedIn. I know the two people who started the effort and can vouch for their commitment to sharing the stories of scientists and the value of their work.

  • Looking for folks to follow on LinkedIn who regularly post job opportunities? Check out the list at the bottom of my newsletters from November 29, 2024 to January 16, 2025.

  • Struggling after being laid off? Listen to the podcast, Proxy with Yowei Shaw. Yowei is the former host of the NPR podcast Invisibilia but was laid off in 2023. She started Proxy as a way of trying to understand why she felt so terrible. She began this new podcast with “The Layoff Trilogy”. This series does an amazing job of combining research and storytelling as it address a devastating situation with compassion and generous helpings of humor. This is a must-listen resource if you’ve been laid off or if someone you care about has been.

Hi! I’m Sara Kobilka, owner of Renaissance Woman Consulting.

I am a Renaissance Woman (what’s THAT? Good question! Here’s my answer). My wide-ranging background includes time as a TV meteorologist/reporter, non-profit leader, higher education program coordinator, curriculum designer, and now, business owner. During each leg of this journey, I gained new skills that I was able take with me in my next step. Now, I work remotely with clients to help them confidently tell their story and navigate the transition to the next leg of their career journey.

Take the Next Step

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